inscript
Zenith /'zenI0/ noun. point of heavens directly overhead;
highest point (of power, prosperity, etc.).
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+February 2005+ +July 2006+ +September 2006+ +February 2007+
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
the last reason to make this last for as long as i could...
i wished her words were miracles. i wish her words were magic that would break the spell. the spell of being bound. the spell of being silent. the spell of being restricted. a curse perhaps. a spell i cast upon myself for the better of all. for the better. for her.
a curse i acquired the moment long long ago. the moment i stopped to believe. the moment i wished to run. the moment ran away. the second i fell apart. the second i regretted. the second i feared for the second time.
for the better. i ran. for the better i walked away. for fear i chose for the better. for fear i cowered away. for years i remained silent. for years i remain still. for years until now. what about now?
now the spell is lifted. now i can be free. now i can come out of hiding. now is too late. now has just passed. now will never be.
timing is of the essence. time. time gives life. time erases. time takes away pain. like it did hers. time prolongs the curse. time measures this burden. time reminds us of our faults. time reminds us of the time passed. the time wasted. the time accumulated doing nothing or doing the same thing.
time. we need more time. the last thing we need. the last thing we want. i don't need any more time. i need things to happen. and yet i need time for that to happen. the last reason will be kept in the shadows. maybe it will never be brought to life. the last person will be buried and might never be unearthed. for time i had.. time i lost.. time i still choose to waste.
why now? if never then? why now? the spell is still there. it wont go away. i just need more time but i don't want to want anymore.
when was that moment. just recently. just before she spoke. when were those moments? many already through the years. many gone to waste. many chosen to be thrown into the depths of my being never to be brought to life. never to be fulfilled never to be spoken of.
what agony is this. to feel but never to express. to rejoice but never to exalt. to falter but never to cry. to think but never to say. instead to carry on. to live in those moments. never expecting. only ever hoping. waiting.
the last reason is this. the last reason is worthless. i need time. i need time during those moments to make them go on forever.
+ [ tsinhEE ] n a n d 2 p a + Buwahahahaha!;) 11:07 PM
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